- The Granola Mom, who feeds her kids a strictly organic diet, never lets sugar into her house, and doesn’t even own a TV.
- The Handmade Mom, who makes clothes for her kids, sews toys for them, and has a handy husband to boot.
- The Goodwill/Garage Sale Mom, who’s always on a hunt for a good bargain, who has no qualms about the people who may have previously worn her or her kids clothes, and who is saving her family a buttload of money on their wardrobes.
- The Skinny Mom. There are two types of Skinny Moms: the ones who have to work at it and the ones who don’t. I would be happy to be either.
- The Stylish Mom, who always looks put together, even when she’s clutching a potty-training two-year-old who’s just wet his pants.
- The Always-On Mom, who finds an opportunity for fun and learning even in the most everyday activities, like walking to the car.
- The Researching Mom, who has read every book about child rearing she can get her hands on and who, when she asks her 15-month old to use her words, actually expects her to do it.
- The Entrepreneur Mom, who has somehow found a way to work at home and make lots of money and still be with (and enjoy) her kids at the same time.
But I try my hardest, and I’ve got to say, our library’s weekly story hour is a virtual melting pot for all of the mom types above (and probably a few more). I’m a visual learner, so when I’m there I mom-watch as much as I can without embarrassing my child or myself.
Today I witnessed The Carefree Mom in action. When she couldn’t find her three-year-old, she told her one-year-old, “I’ll be right back,” and left him in the story room so she could go get his brother. I was appalled. I could never just leave my baby in a room while I stepped out for who knows how long. It would only take a couple of extra seconds to scoop him up and bring him with me. Besides, if I left him, something could happen to him! To my BABY! On the other hand, I was a little jealous. Maybe I need to put my kid on a longer leash. Stepping 10 feet away from him (even if I walk through a DOOR!) will most likely not harm him. Although, the total meltdown and bloodcurdling screams he’d surely issue may bother some of our fellow library patrons.
What I’m trying to explore here is how I feel like I’m never good enough. No matter how many books I read, how many gallons of organic milk I bring home, or how I try to justify buying things on sale at Ann Taylor Loft as saving money, I’ll never be the mom I think I should be. And I think there’s only one answer to that: figure out the mom I WANT to be, and then do it. Be her. Don’t let anyone else’s opinions on child rearing get in my way. If I want to buy all organic, find a way in the budget to do it. If I want to save money on clothes, find a way to do that without hitting garage sales (I just can’t stomach the thought of where those clothes have been. Unless I know you, and you tell me where, and I use lots of detergent and the Sanitize setting on my washing machine). And if I want to do more things with my child (like baking and crafting, which I believe the Always-On Mom does) then I need to stop fantasizing about it and make it happen. Which involves deciding what craft I want to do, buying the supplies, and not feeling guilty about spending money on something that will probably only bring CJ joy for a couple of hours (heck, if that’s my logic, I’ve got four bins of toys for the consignment shop in my basement that blow it out of the water).
The bottom line is, for all my observing I’m not doing a lot of changing, but I want to. I’m going to try to figure out the kind of mom I want to be. I’ll pull what qualities I want from that list of moms above, add some new ones, and then I’ll be the best mom I can to my kid, a mom who knows what she’s about and who can feel confident in her choices, even if they don’t fit into the cookie-cutter version of the perfect mom we all wanna be.
